LegendSS28 Posted July 30, 2005 Report Posted July 30, 2005 Lost Ball A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. Well, it was like this, said the man. I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball........stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake. "What did you do?" asks the doctor. Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!" Quote
crbanshee Posted July 31, 2005 Report Posted July 31, 2005 three guys out golfing needing a 4th ask a young man putting around the practice range to join them and he greatfuly accepts.they begin their game and start to talk about everything and nothing enjoying the game and having a good time..about the 8th hole the young man lookt to the other 3 men and asks "so what do you gentelmen do for a living" the first man responds...im a bank ceo for usa first bank..the second man replys..im a doctor,,and i own a coffee house..the third man replys im a hired hitman...so the young man laughs and asks again "so realy what do you do?'' the man replys im a hit man look in my golf bag there is a rifle in there now..so the young man looks and sure as shit there is a 50cal sniper rifle.so the man sais go ahead take it out,,so the young man looking through the scope of the rifle says hey i can see my house..and ohhh there is my wife,,man how beautiful she is..oh my she is walking around naked he proclaims..and wait there is my neighbor..he is walking naked im my house too..i cant believe my wife is cheating on me he shouts.. the young man turns to the other man and asks how much do you charge to shoot someone?? the man replys $500.so the young man pulls out the check book and says ok i'll take 2 please and procedes to write a check. he tells the other man i want you to shoot her in the mouth for lieing to me and cheating and shoot my neighbor in the dick for fucking my wife..so the hit man takes a possition bears down the scope of his rifle and waits and waits..the man yells at him hurry up what are you waiting for shoot them...the man looks back at the young man and sais be paitent here im about to save you $500 Quote
hittintrees srh Posted July 31, 2005 Report Posted July 31, 2005 three guys out golfing needing a 4th ask a young man putting around the practice range to join them and he greatfuly accepts.they begin their game and start to talk about everything and nothing enjoying the game and having a good time..about the 8th hole the young man lookt to the other 3 men and asks "so what do you gentelmen do for a living" the first man responds...im a bank ceo for usa first bank..the second man replys..im a doctor,,and i own a coffee house..the third man replys im a hired hitman...so the young man laughs and asks again "so realy what do you do?'' the man replys im a hit man look in my golf bag there is a rifle in there now..so the young man looks and sure as shit there is a 50cal sniper rifle.so the man sais go ahead take it out,,so the young man looking through the scope of the rifle says hey i can see my house..and ohhh there is my wife,,man how beautiful she is..oh my she is walking around naked he proclaims..and wait there is my neighbor..he is walking naked im my house too..i cant believe my wife is cheating on me he shouts..the young man turns to the other man and asks how much do you charge to shoot someone?? the man replys $500.so the young man pulls out the check book and says ok i'll take 2 please and procedes to write a check. he tells the other man i want you to shoot her in the mouth for lieing to me and cheating and shoot my neighbor in the dick for fucking my wife..so the hit man takes a possition bears down the scope of his rifle and waits and waits..the man yells at him hurry up what are you waiting for shoot them...the man looks back at the young man and sais be paitent here im about to save you $500 399029[/snapback] Quote
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