fast87 Posted February 2, 2006 Report Posted February 2, 2006 Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end? A.) So men can be open minded. Q.) What's the speed limit of sex? A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around. Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get. Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick? A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck! Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego... A.) "Is it in?" Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy? A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection. Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? A.) One of his fingers is clean. Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers? A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common? A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed. ~Mark~ Quote
Hilarious Posted February 2, 2006 Report Posted February 2, 2006 That's funny. Here's another. A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my Mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me but it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!" The cab driver hit a parked car...... Quote
FasterThanU90 Posted February 2, 2006 Report Posted February 2, 2006 wow thats alot of dick jokes i thought the speed limit of sex was 68 cuz when u reach 69 u eat it Quote
tithead Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 who do you find an amish mechanic? hes the one at the side of the road with his arm up a horses ass. Quote
stclark816 Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed. I like that one.. Quote
Shee-Male Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? -Full. Quote
thegroup Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? -Full. 468137[/snapback] that aint even right Quote
corkforbrains Posted February 4, 2006 Report Posted February 4, 2006 * One for the Ladies... Why do men snore? When they sleep, their balls cover up their assholes and they develop vapor lock.. ..sorry, i live with a bird Quote
Too Many Toys Posted February 4, 2006 Report Posted February 4, 2006 A guy walks into a whore house... The sign says We're Closed Beat It!!! Quote
Ducman Posted February 4, 2006 Report Posted February 4, 2006 How do you recycle a used rubber? Turn it inside out and shake the F*ck out of it! Quote
thegroup Posted February 4, 2006 Report Posted February 4, 2006 How do you recycle a used rubber? Turn it inside out and shake the F*ck out of it! 468733[/snapback] Quote
pimpeinkc Posted February 6, 2006 Report Posted February 6, 2006 a termite walks into a bar and asks,,,,, is your bar tender here.... Quote
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