ellison445 Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care. P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem. Signed Rich As Hell and Free! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frocashmoney24 Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 haha thats a good one, fun readin jokes in college english class , how ya been jeff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigboybanshee Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellison445 Posted September 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 haha I should be asking you the same damn thing How the hell you been Jeff, Long time no see I thought you got a four storke and forgot about us haha thats a good one, fun readin jokes in college english class , how ya been jeff? 419861[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1tekiller Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 haha nice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockgc9 Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rebel Posted September 29, 2005 Report Share Posted September 29, 2005 shhhhhhh*******tttttt !!!!!! Just picture the look on her face right about now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taldoc3 Posted September 29, 2005 Report Share Posted September 29, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted September 29, 2005 Report Share Posted September 29, 2005 oh damn... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozosborne Posted September 29, 2005 Report Share Posted September 29, 2005 OHHHHH! TALK ABOUT SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE HEAD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motoman991 Posted September 29, 2005 Report Share Posted September 29, 2005 haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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