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Posted

The Hooker on the Strip:

 

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker

catches his eye.

He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?"

Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."

Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of

money!"

 

The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"

"Yes."

"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them

because

I give a hand-job that's worth $500."

Guy says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try."

 

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on

the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every

bit of $500.

 

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"

 

The hooker replies, "$1,500.

"$1,500? No blow-job could be worth that".

 

The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy.

Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright.

And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, says,

"Sign me up."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.

He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.

He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and

unforgettable experience.

 

He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"

The hooker says, "Come over here to the window. Do you see how the whole

city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights,

gambling palaces and showplaces?"

 

"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"

"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy.

Posted

At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was fingering herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She welcomed his help, and so the man started fingering her like crazy. When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands. He thinks, WTF..."Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly. "Great," she said, "but these crabs are driving me crazy!"

 

:D

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