The Rebel

Bruce Lee

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Minnesota and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes. The second man had married a woman from Iowa . He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, the next day it was better. By the third day, he saw a clean house, the dishes were done and she had a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a Mississippi girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye....enough to fix a bite to eat, load the dish washer, and call a lawn service. Got to love those Mississippi Girls! Doooooohhh!!!!!!!!

That's a good indication of why no one other than the taxpaying consumer wants to do anything about the high prices of fuel . Thanks for the specifics Brooke. Unlike other countries , here you will see one person driving the four door 2500 dually back and forth to work, or the Suburban with 2 kids and a dog to school, everyday. I drives me a Ford Ranger 50 miles a day to work , avg. 27 MPG. Where over in other countries there will be small econo boxes full of smelly bastards all pitching in on the cost of commuting. I see a major trend shift towards hybrids coming. Hybrid Tahoe ????!!!!

Hey, the Saudi stuff ain't nothin to sneeze at. We already know we can't trust any American politician .

Lol. Well, did you share the other half with Habib or Julio ? Rebel

So, that's why the big oil companies are making 200% more profit these days on each barrel of crude after the cost of refining ? Wow, I'm glad you told us. Or is that from cooked books. ie. Worldcom, Enron, Delphi, GM, all others...... Hey, guys , and Brooke , we all need to be in the oil bidness these days . It looks like the only American(?) companies that hasn't built a factory in China yet. Last I looked, I don't have an X-box, I don't buy DVDs, and I drink tap water. After I get my weekly net(weakly, after I get ripped a new A$$HOLE) , I have to watch all the fookers that don't pay taxes using up all those "precious" resources that I don't seem to need to survive. Hehe. Dogboy's right. We do need more refineries . Rebel

His work ain't too shitty, that's a clean bowl you got there 04. Hell, he even floated it in pretty good , nice selection on the tint, plenty of rolling stock, shit , you got a good job outta that deal.... Damn, this thing went south in a hurry. It wasn't directed at G Dub, it was a sarcastic attempt to bring this crisis down on him, sorta like when he engineered Katrina. But DAYUMM dude, someones gotta step up to the plate when we are getting it stuck to us like a crack whore on a Saturday night. Hell, it's our own fault for not sh@@ting the lousy f00kers that are stealing half out paychecks every week. It's all got to do with that wealth redistibution scheme , ya know. Brooke , I can't stand that picture....

Man , I sure hate it for you CEJ. Here's to the best for you ole son......

Right on !!!!!!!! Damn, I didn't know they were on the HQ with us. They musta read of our good fortune and the rat bastards raised gas prices .02 today.. F.......................ck!! Puss the Throttle, this is what you call a "JOKE". Git yer panties out yer ass , take a deep breath and have a laugh.........

Well I thought I would ask, what are you doing with all the money you saved from the last twoo weeks of the lower gas prices that G. dub got for us ? I know that .04 less a gallon over the last two weeks sure has been a savior in my household of FIVE !!!

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm.! ... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an! eye, that's a very popular clich

Cajun Math Test A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" The Cajun says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks? "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Cajun. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Cajun stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of DA trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred." "So, when I start?"

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black! , and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied," Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

girls on quads or girls on rods ?? my girl rides both.....

No worries about lead on my pole, just in it . You can spill your drink on mine any day....

No worries, that's definatley your tongue....

Heh, I was looking at what appears to be shot glasses stacked up in rows. Brooke, we need to talk.

Don't blame Jack for you liking to lick pole , he just makes it last longer.

I love me some Jack in Black. Goes DOWN good , huh Brooke ?

Hah, lol. Don't be hatin' now.

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him. The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat. The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my bill." As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door. Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door. Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me...I'm drawin' disability!"

Happy Birthday to the Godfather of the HQ !!!!!!! You and Al Pacino have something in common, only he turned 66 today.... old fart. Hehe.

I smell fear.

That splains a lot right there..