Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Dont know if these have ever been posted on here before but anyway :shrugani:

 

 

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

 

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

 

3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

 

4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

 

5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

 

6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

 

7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

 

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

 

9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

 

10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

 

11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

 

12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

 

13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

 

14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

 

15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

 

16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

 

17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

 

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home

 

19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha

 

20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

 

21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

 

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

 

23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

 

24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

 

25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

 

26. Illiterate? Write For Help

 

27. Honk If Anything Falls Off

 

28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes

 

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

 

30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

 

31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

 

32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

 

33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

 

37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

 

38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

 

39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[seen upside down on a jeep]

 

40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

 

41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

 

42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

 

43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

 

44. Ax Me About Ebonics

 

45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

 

46. Boldly Going Nowhere

 

47. Cat: The Other White Meat

 

48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde

 

49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That

 

50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

 

51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

 

52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?

 

53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

 

54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

 

55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit .. Got It!

 

56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

 

57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

 

58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

 

59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them

 

60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

 

61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

 

62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

 

63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious?

 

64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

 

65. Sore/Loserman 2000

Posted

 

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

 

 

39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[seen upside down on a jeep]

 

467400[/snapback]

 

Re-vise of #8: My Drugdealer Sold Crack To Your Honor Student

 

and about #39: a buddy of mine had this on his ranger right after he rolled it

:rotflmao::jesterlaugh::rotflmao:

Posted
thats funny shizit what about: keep honking I'm reloading :evil:

467753[/snapback]

 

:rotflmao: That one's great

Posted
I hate my job

468859[/snapback]

ill drink to that :cheers: i went to work today AND B/C i was 3 MIN LATE, they told me to go home :shootself:

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...