MDS2106 Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 (edited) I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number & dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Joe. Could I please speak with Donna Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right damned number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Donna's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the "wrong" number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" & hung up. I wrote his number down with the word "asshole" next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up & yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number & said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID program?" He yelled "NO!" & slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back & said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up. One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off & pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn & yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is 'Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and & added his number to my speed dial too. Now, when I have a problem, I have to assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called asshold #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up). He said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah". He screamed, "Stop calling me!" I said, "Make me!" He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said "Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler. I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm so scared, asshole," & hung up. Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole". He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, " You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up & immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Fairfox & that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car & headed over to Fairfax.l I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in fron of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter & surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work! Edited January 30, 2006 by MDS2106 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironhead Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
floyd398 Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 I like that...good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speed_demon Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 thats fuckin hilarious!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Girl Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 NICE!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogre03 Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 That's some funny shit right there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FasterThanU90 Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 wow that made my night i saw this done on film but it was a record store and a pizza place they had one guy in the record store witha small cam and one out side calling they just stood there like pussys yelling at each other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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