mat Posted April 5, 2005 Report Share Posted April 5, 2005 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolyKarbon Posted April 5, 2005 Report Share Posted April 5, 2005 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loganskinner Posted April 5, 2005 Report Share Posted April 5, 2005 hahah i read that forever ago. that shit is funny. that guy got her good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted April 5, 2005 Report Share Posted April 5, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1tekiller Posted April 5, 2005 Report Share Posted April 5, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
super88_banshee Posted April 5, 2005 Report Share Posted April 5, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BdBanshee Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysea1 Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Very funny, sweet revenge for the male gender Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowboyBanshee Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cotton eyed Joe Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 I've read that before and it NEVER gets old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bansheecaptain Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 hahaha , might get luckey the next night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SICK BOY Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 That truth is soooooo funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuneRoller Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 That's good stuff right there! I need to pass that on to some suckas I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RNBRAD Posted April 7, 2005 Report Share Posted April 7, 2005 Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either um definitely not or the next night and the next. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cliffjumper Posted April 7, 2005 Report Share Posted April 7, 2005 yes that is the shit or you might want to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.