ness Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 First let me say I have nothing against getting drunk. I get lit on ocassion myself. Now that being said I have a friend that is an alcoholic. I didn't know how bad he was untill about three months ago when he got busted for stumbling around in his yard with the keys to his truck in hand. Since then he has been hospitalized twice and gone through treatment. It took him about a day to start drinking again. When he drinks he stumbles, slurs, and generally acts like an idiot. Curently he does not have his license so he can't work as his job requires a license, and is fighting a DWI. He just sits around at home and drinks every day from morning till he passes out. Now I try to be nice to this guy and get him out of the house to go wheeling when I can. I've never asked for gas money, I've wired my truck for trailer lights so I can haul his wheeler. The problem for me is this friend seems to always be so critical of everything I do yet his life seems a mess. As a minor example I wrecked the front end of my banshee and it cost me about $700 to repair. Now I could have repaired it cheaper with used parts, but I decided to upgrade a few things. I get constant shit about my decissions on how I repaired the Banshee. My friend sujests that I should have got a used a-arm, run mismatched tires and rims, and get a used shock. Same would go for just about everything else I do. He has always done this but not to the degree he is doing it now. I try to chalk up his behavior to the problems he is having with the DWI, but when is enough. If I confront him he WILL loose it and I just don't want to deal with it. I have a wife, home, and all the responsibilities that go with being an adult. He has a home, and a bottel. I hate to dump what was a good friend, but am considering it. I've never had to deal with anything like this so thoughtful advice would be appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pimp559 Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Sometime your gonna have problems with friends. You got your priorities straight with taken care of your responsibilities. You do need to honest with your friend and let him know the way you feel and your concern. Let him know that your not against having a few beers but you should be responsible when drinking. Where does he get money to drink with if he is not working? Besides the drinking you should also let him know that you don't like the negative way he speaks about the things you do. If your not up front and honest with him, you just might loose him as a friend. You should also let him know what your willing to do to help him and where you draw the line. Try to imagine yourself in his shoes and think what is the real problem that he has no motivation but to just drink. Now that I sound like Ann Landers go out and get a six'er its friday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ness Posted July 9, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Pimp559 Good advice to be honest, if he can't handel it then that should tell me something. As far as money goes I think he is draining his savings between attorney fees, mortgage, and vodka. Thanks again for the advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogboystoy Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Well I have to agree with what has been said so far. I think you need to be up front with him, and if he blows up and dumps you as a friend, well,,, at least you tried. You would have ended up loosing him as a friend eventually. I am in a similar situation, my best friends girlfriend of 4 years is an alcoholic. She is goofy enough without booze, but when she gets drunk (every day of the weekend and sometimes during the week) she gets really stupid and obnoxious. But I put up with her because my friend is cool. He knows she is a drunk and I dont see him do anything but give her shit on occasion. My friend hardly drinks at all, he may have 1 beer every 3 months or longer. But he smokes the reefer, and I assume that is what keeps him from getting serious about getting her in rehab. Anyway, good luck with your friend, I hope it works out for you. Pardon the Pun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SANDSTAR Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Talk it out over some beers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtRider Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 just leave him be. offer advise if you want but its not gonna help. he loves to drink more than be friends with you. so i say chuck him. you can help him all you want. but its like the saying goes. you cant teeach someone to tie "their" shoes if they have no feet. so untill he runs into a problem and cant get out then you can help. trying to get him to stop drinking will only make him drink more. so, if that means anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MULLET~BOY Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 i think you need to talk to him about his drinking problems if your concerned about it alot of times people will be critical of people because they are not happy with the way there life is going and the way they do things but they dont have the will power to change so manbey your friend needs a lil push in the right direction i wouldnt say just give up on them unless you dont enjoy being around them your friend isn't probably gona like you telling him he needs rehab but give him time and he might come around but i hope it all works out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J..J. Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 Take him riding for a weekend, just you and him at the campfire and talk it out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyRo_ZaCh Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 also, do you realy need him, I mean its great your trying to help, but if he still has this pronblem and hes giving you a hard time about how YOU do every thing wrong is he even a freind to you? have you right up said to him "you have a drinking problem and need to fix it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brock_fuzzy_69 Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 if i had to guess he is suffering from some severe depression people need something promising and enjoyable to keep them away from teh bottle i take it that he is still single or is divorced not really sure if its your job to cheer him up to get him out of this hole that he has dug for himself i had a friend who's dad did this for about 3 years straight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nasty01banshee Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 sounds like my best friend, always doing something dumb, could it be a family issue ??? his older brother has 2 DWI's, he has 1, and his younger brother just got 1 (which is bad in jersey being only 20) sometimes it is family related but still the individuals choice. i would'nt even go into my own list of alcohol-related incidents over the years, but i keep it in check and live a pretty responsible life. try talking it out and if it ends in a fight or argument, you did your best. if it starts interferring with your personal life, drop the dude because you only become a product of your own enviorment.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tats4life Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 sit him down and be honest, i've had a few friends sit me down lately because i seem to be drinkin a lot, hell neither of my bikes have been cranked in about a month. i just come home and start drinking, or i go to the pool hall and drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 it sounds to me as if its beyond help. i mean hes already been to rehab and is in trouble with the law. is it really worth the time away from your family to f*ck with the guy? hes an asshole to you and criticizes you it seems on every chance he gets. theres a point at which someone deserves some help, and it seems that time has come and gone. if hes not wlling to help himself then i think you should wash your hands of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ness Posted July 12, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2004 Thanks for all the good advice. Much of what you guys said are things I was already thinking so you have helped me to make a decission. I was taking him up north for some great trail riding this last weekend. He called Friday night to cancell because he sprained his foot. He says he did it on his bicycle, but I think he just fell down on the steps. Anyways he's history. Maybe if herecovers some time down the line our friendship will resume. I got this off my chest and am moving on so this depressing thread is over........Thanks again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh A. Posted July 12, 2004 Report Share Posted July 12, 2004 put him in rehab, theres programs that will rehabilitate him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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