IDAHOSHEE Posted September 14, 2005 Report Posted September 14, 2005 While grocery shopping.... A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde who waves at him and says hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says "do you know me?". To which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my children." He thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful and says... "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?" Suddenly looking very uncomfortable, she said "No, I'm your son's math teacher." Quote
rockgc9 Posted September 14, 2005 Report Posted September 14, 2005 Man how embarassing would that be. Good one. Quote
sp1tekiller Posted September 14, 2005 Report Posted September 14, 2005 I thought this one was kind of funny. "One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children. Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car. So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach. When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well. 16 years later 16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?" "What?" I pissed out a bullet. So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago. Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet." So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago. Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?" The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet." "No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"" Quote
sp1tekiller Posted September 14, 2005 Report Posted September 14, 2005 John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom." Quote
350TwinDeathBed Posted September 14, 2005 Report Posted September 14, 2005 That one made me chuckle Quote
The Rebel Posted September 15, 2005 Report Posted September 15, 2005 good ones, I posted the oops joke in July, funny sh*t Quote
locogato11283 Posted September 15, 2005 Report Posted September 15, 2005 haha those are all pretty good.. Quote
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