HQ joke of the day!

[PUSH THE THROTTLE]

the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

361788[/snapback]

[ellison445]

You thought I dont have a stash

 

   

361794[/snapback]

[LegendSS28]

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

 

The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."

 

"You're wasting your time," said the boy.

 

"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

361788[/snapback]

 

i like this one the mos t...dueces was funny, but fucking nasty...

[PUSH THE THROTTLE]

  You thought I dont have a stash    

361795[/snapback]

I bet you're not the only one though. Ever since that corn thing awhile back, I think Duece is hard to beat.

[RNBRAD]

I love this one!!!!

 

 

A farmer was sitting in a bar getting drunk.

 

A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here, on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"

 

The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

 

"So what happened that's so horrible?", the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.

 

"Well," the farmer said, "Today, I was sitting by my cow, milking her.

 

Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

 

"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad."

 

"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on her left.

 

Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

 

The man laughed, "Again?"

 

The farmer nodded, and replied, "Some things you just can't explain.

 

I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.

 

Well I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail. Some things you just can't explain."

 

"So, what did you do?"

 

"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.

 

At that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...Some things you just can't explain...

[PUSH THE THROTTLE]

[RNBRAD]

Another one of my old favs.

 

A gay man died and in his will, he specified that he wanted to be cremated and his ashes divided between his three lovers. So the three men were sitting around discussing what to do with their share of the ashes.

 

The first one said," I'm going to sprinkle the ashes in my back yard, because we spent many happy hours there."

 

The second one said, "I'm going to sprinkle the ashes in the ocean, in remembrance of the cruise where we first met."

 

The third one said, "I'm going to sprinkle the ashes on a bowl of hot chili. Might as well let him tear up my ass up one more time."

[Blue Duece]

a little boy comes home from school and tells his mom he heard two words today what do they mean, so she asks "what are they?" the boy relies "Pussy and Bitch" so mom says "see your cat, Sandy, she's a pussie" so the boy ask's "whats a bitch" mom replies "your dog Ginger is a bitch" a little confused the boy goes out to the garage and ask's his dad the same question, his father reaches up on the shelf and pulls down a playboy magazine and opens it to the centerfold, takes a marker, draws a circle around her crotch and tells the boy "see whats inside that circle, thats a pussy" so the boy ask's "then whats a Bitch?" dad replies "everything out side the circle"

[RNBRAD]

a little boy comes home from school and tells his mom he heard two words today what do they mean, so she asks "what are they?" the boy relies "Pussy and Bitch" so mom says "see your cat, Sandy, she's a pussie" so the boy ask's "whats a bitch" mom replies "your dog Ginger is a bitch" a little confused the boy goes out to the garage and ask's his dad the same question, his father reaches up on the shelf and pulls down a playboy magazine and opens it to the centerfold, takes a marker, draws a circle around her crotch and tells the boy "see whats inside that circle, thats a pussy" so the boy ask's "then whats a Bitch?" dad replies "everything out side the circle"

361927[/snapback]

 

I always liked that one too.