Minkia38 Posted April 13, 2005 Report Posted April 13, 2005 A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a package of chicken breasts, a head of romaine lettuce, a two pound can of coffee, and a pound of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk man standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this question, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her seven items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly." Quote
odaen Posted April 13, 2005 Report Posted April 13, 2005 good one...... this one's not bad either.... Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?" "Yeah." "Then logically because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?" "No." "Then you're gay." Quote
sikwidit'96 Posted April 13, 2005 Report Posted April 13, 2005 good one......this one's not bad either.... Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?" "Yeah." "Then logically because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?" "No." "Then you're gay." 354692[/snapback] hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahha. oh my god that was funny. so was the 1st joke. Quote
STLBILL Posted April 14, 2005 Report Posted April 14, 2005 (edited) Both pretty funny! I just want to know where they found TWO farmers in South Texas with traditional American names. Edited April 14, 2005 by STLBILL Quote
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