ledofthezep Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 LOL Here's you a bar/midget joke...well, kinda...not intending to offend anyone(sorry for the racial bit), but here you all go...excuse the language, but it's not as funny without it. It's a bit long, but definately well worth reading. Picture this... A midget walks into a hardcore biker bar, climbs up a bar stool, slams his fist down & tells the bartender "Give me your strongest shot of wiskey & point out the baddest motherfucker in here!" The bartender looks at him with a confused, yet amused look on his face & says "ok, here ya go"; hands him a strong shot of wiskey from under the counter & points to a big guy over in the corner. The midget slams the shot, hops off the bar stool, walks over to the big guy and proceeds to beat the shit out of the biker, leaves him bleeding on the floor & walks out of the bar, on his way out he tells the bartender he'll be back. The bartender can't believe what he just saw, he's just amazed and can't imagine such a thing happening again. The next evening...here comes the midget again..."Give me your strongest shot of wiskey & point out the baddest motherfucker in here!" the midget says. The bartender says "ok, here ya go"; hands him a strong shot of wiskey from under the counter again & points to an even bigger guy than the night before. Sure as shit, the midget slams the shot & proceeds to lay this big'ol biker an ass whip'n like he's never had before--damn near kills the guy; walks out as he tells the bartender he'll see him again. The bartender is now thinking "what the hell, this guy can't just keep coming in here beating down my customers and driving away my business" So he calls up a buddy who works at the local zoo and tells him what's up. The bartender's buddy at the zoo tells him about this badass, un-controllable, meeeaaan fuck'n gorilla they just had shipped in...took them 10 people alone just to get the gorilla out of the truck & into his cage. The bartender talks him into gathering up some people and bringing the gorilla to the bar; they get him in the bathroom and quickly lock the door. The next evening, you guessed it...here comes the midget......"Give me your strongest shot of wiskey & point out the baddest motherfucker in here!" the midget says. The bartender says "ok, here ya go"; hands him a strong shot of wiskey from under the counter again & says "Alright...this is the last time I'm gunna let you come in here, beat up someone and just leave. You're hurting my business!" With that said, the bartender proceeds to tell the midget about this HUGE guy that just went into the bathroom, said he's the biggest guy by-far that's ever been in his bar. The bartender throws him the key to the bathroom, the midget slams the shot & walks to the bathroom, unlocks it & goes in, slamming the door behind him. All the sudden you would have thought there were bombs going off in that bathroom, all that could be heard was banging, crashing, there was plaster falling off the walls around the bar, lights flickering...complete chaos. Then, all of the sudden, Silence. The bartender thinks, "Oh shit...the gorilla probably killed that midget & is probably eating him now." Next thing you know here comes the door swinging open, the midget walking out brushing dust & pieces of the wall & ceiling off himself. On his way out the door he looks over to the bartender & says in a pissed off tone, "You tell that nigger_ when he wakes up...his fur coat's hanging on by the door!" That's got to be one of my all time fav's...figured I'd share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 only you LED LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledofthezep Posted February 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 only you LED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banshee~ Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 you had to go racial...jp thats funny shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KoooPSD Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 HAHAHAHA that was good... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockgc9 Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 That was good, never heard that one before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quad4me Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 dood you got the humor allover your posts....my favorite avatar on this whole damn site belongs to you LED. That shit is just hilarious every single time I see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted February 12, 2005 Report Share Posted February 12, 2005 hehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SICK BOY Posted February 12, 2005 Report Share Posted February 12, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledofthezep Posted February 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2005 to all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1tekiller Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigwill Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 That shit is funny---very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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