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Got a joke post it up!

 

 

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

 

His friend says:

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A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

 

After having great sex, she spent the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seemed to love to do.

 

Enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

 

She replied, 'Because I really miss mine.'

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lol, Heres another one......

 

 

 

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.

They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

 

"Hello? Oh, hi.... I'm so glad that you called.... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time.... Oh, that sounds terrific.... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

 

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

 

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

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Grandma's Boyfriend

 

 

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'

 

Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'

 

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

 

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'

 

The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'

 

The minister fainted.

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