Simple Home Remedies

[wrecker03]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup

of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be

almost instantly removed.

 

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by

getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

 

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat

by simply using the sink.

 

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed

for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Remember to use a timer.

 

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you

from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze

button.

 

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you

will be afraid to cough.

 

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will

forget about the toothache.

 

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really

are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move

and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct

tape.

 

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

 

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

 

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you

never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

[MSBansheeDrags]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup

of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be

almost instantly removed.

 

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by

getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

 

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat

by simply using the sink.

 

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed

for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Remember to use a timer.

 

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you

from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze

button.

 

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you

will be afraid to cough.

 

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will

forget about the toothache.

 

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really

are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move

and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct

tape.

 

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

 

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

 

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you

never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

 

 

that's good!!!....dbr

[White06Shee]

I Liked Number 6 Also, Haha