thecabinboy Posted January 19, 2005 Report Posted January 19, 2005 One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?"The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!" "Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" "Sure," the man said, "I love to drink." "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!" The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great.""You a smoker?" the demon asked. "You better believe it!" "You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! . If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?""Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!" The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do." "Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?" The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ." "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!" "Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"The demon said, "You gay?" "No." "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!" Quote
Cotton eyed Joe Posted January 19, 2005 Report Posted January 19, 2005 LMFAO I'd hate to ask what happens on saturdays and sundays. Quote
SICK BOY Posted January 20, 2005 Report Posted January 20, 2005 I've heard that one before,but I was still laughing at it. Quote
kotin6 Posted January 20, 2005 Report Posted January 20, 2005 this is the funniest clean joke i have ever fucking heard. here goes.... A bus full of ugly people falls off a cliff and they all go to heaven. When the get to the gates they are greated by god himself. He tells them to form a line and face him. He tells them that since their life was so bad from being ugly that he will grant them all one wish befor entering heaven. So he ask the first lady what she wises for.."I want to be beautifull for the afterlife" poof god made her beautifull. He goes to the man next to her and ask what do you with for. He says " I want to be handsom." poof hes handsome. God hears the man on the end snicker a bit. He getts about half way down the line and evryone is wishing to be handsome or beautifull and hears the man on the end full on laughing now. He continues down the line. By the time he gets to the last man he ask "What do you wish for" the man catches his breath and replys. "MAKE THEM ALL UGLY AGAIN" Quote
bansheefreestyler Posted January 20, 2005 Report Posted January 20, 2005 A bus full of ugly people falls off a cliff and they all go to heaven. When the get to the gates they are greated by god himself. He tells them to form a line and face him. He tells them that since their life was so bad from being ugly that he will grant them all one wish befor entering heaven. So he ask the first lady what she wises for.."I want to be beautifull for the afterlife" poof god made her beautifull. He goes to the man next to her and ask what do you with for. He says " I want to be handsom." poof hes handsome. God hears the man on the end snicker a bit. He getts about half way down the line and evryone is wishing to be handsome or beautifull and hears the man on the end full on laughing now. He continues down the line. By the time he gets to the last man he ask "What do you wish for" the man catches his breath and replys. "MAKE THEM ALL UGLY AGAIN hahaha man that is a gooder Quote
sanddevil111 Posted January 21, 2005 Report Posted January 21, 2005 LMFAO I'd hate to ask what happens on saturdays and sundays. 309090[/snapback] word...thats funny ass shit Quote
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