Ralph came home
drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping
wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke
before the Pearly
Gates, where St. Peter
said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph..'
Ralph
was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too
much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter
said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go
back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was
devastated, but begged St. Peter to send
him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew,
he was covered with feathers,
Clucking, and
pecking the ground.
A
rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh?
How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied
Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling
inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're
ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don 't tell me
you've never laid an egg before? '
'Never,'
said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it
happen,' says the rooster . 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds
later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome
with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon
laid another egg -- his joy was
overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third
egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and
heard his wife yell.....
'Ralph! Wake up.
You shit the bed!'