Slammin Full Bore

I use yamalube

thats to bad the cops have become so anal about it

i guess, you sound like my grandpa

I just released a havana omlette when there was an uncle ted around, i thought he was gone when i left the bathroom, turns out he was waiting outside to heckle me about the escapee i released.

That is pretty slick there

What

lol im calling a deputy!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 This guys a total jerkoff, damn stupid kid stood in front of the camera for a bit. http://www.consumptionjunction.com/content...=1&page=1&fav=0

This guide will help you discover just how bad your hang over is, enjoy One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. Two Star Hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day! brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now....

http://www.consumptionjunction.com/content...=1&page=1&fav=0 this is just wrong, but funny

Because it all sounds like a good idea until they realize they have to ride their ten speed to the post office 3 miles away, with a blaster carb strapped to the rack

honestly i dont care how many idiots die from not wearing their seat belt, i do care about my tax money. Im already paying for illegal immigrants health care, why not just pay for every other moron who doesnt wear a belt, goes to ICU and doesnt have insurance. Wow I dont know about you guys but i think that money could be better spent.........maybe like on 1 new cruise missile or something. but seriously it does cost us alot of money, and most people are always complaining about taxes so why would you want to pay more.

AMEN TOO THAT

true but there are many many people without insurance, who arent denied medical assistance at hospitals.

wtf no one poops at work....geez

whats there address so i can email them and get a gang of shit too?

were im from thats been a big deal for years, ive heard alot of arguments about it. Most people say well its my body if i want to fly through the windshield and get seriously hurt or die, thats my own decision. Alot of people dont think though how much money it costs for someone to go to the hospital, especially for our government. Billions in tax dollars are paid for people going to the hospital. By buckling up you have just decreased serious injury risk by tenfold, thus saving all the money we pump into taxes for better things. Just a though

you guys crack me up

what hes doing is perfectly legal. The people are paying him money for a service. That service is to not eat the rabbit. There is no law against eating rabbits, And its not extortion because he is not forcing the people to give the money. It will not effect the rest of their lives if he does. The media cannot go around telling where people live, thats lawsuit time. if that was the case why dont they just make a news broadcast telling where all the celebrities live. THey would make tons off of that.

read this through real good, i find myself doing this stuff all the time lol How To Poop At Work Lessons in Life We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the where abouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANA OMELET A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an ASTAIRE. UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

funny and true!!!!

alright i got to 79

i went to some of those pay as you play courses in tijuana, and ill tell you the back nine are the most expensive.

damn only 23 meters

hey i found this on some site its pretty good. 1. Each player should furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on the course should be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again. 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to the well formed bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason. 9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. 10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. 11. Players should not assume that a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case. 12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole. 13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine. 14. Slow play is encouraged. However players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily at the course owners request. 15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. enjoy