You Might Be a Redneck If......
you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
you think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company
your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
you carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
your family tree has no forks.
fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
you think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
you think the stock market has fence around it.
you couldn't learn to swim because your gene pool is too small.
if you have ever cut your grass and found a car.
if your dog and yoru wallet are on a chain.
if everyday somebody comes to your door mistaking that your having a yard sell.
if you have ever financed a tattoo.
if you have ever make change in the offering plate.
if the ufo hotline limits you to one call a day.