ellison445

Nope, I got about 2 months worth of material.... Thats why I asked before I go crazy with them.

3 votes so far, thats good!!

I started this a couple of days ago and I wanted to get your thoughts on it. Should I keep it going or should I stop?

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."

No your not, the delivery was just horrible!!

The Hooker on the Strip: A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?" Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500." Guy says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker replies, "$1,500. "$1,500? No blow-job could be worth that". The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500." The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, says, "Sign me up." Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?" The hooker says, "Come over here to the window. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy.

Today is my daughter's 18th birthday....... I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Lauren, to come over to my house,and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face. " So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy... and watch the expression on your face".

LMAO

I might have one for you, I will pm you tonight! I have to double check!

LMAO!!!

LMFAO and How many post do you have? 4 more then him? Calm down man, Sos pads are made out of 00 steel wool and they will not scratch the pipes...Good call on the sos and Dundemon good call on the glass cleaner!!!

Most reliable ATV alarm I have ever owned!!!!!!

Yeap same old shittt!!!! But still the best

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no hired hand. He returned around two thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

LMFAO!!!!

Tit, show him your bike!!!!!!!!!! I bet he will go Yamaha then

Simple green all the way!!!!!!

V-force 2

I owuld say Razar mX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why is your buddy running a BR9ES in a banshee? its suppose to be a BR8ES!!

CHINESE SICK LEAVE - I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!" Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss, I no come work today!! I really sick. I got headache, stomach-ache and my legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........You got nice house....