Little Johnny jokes

[LS1Inferno]

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

 

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

 

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

 

 

 

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually she slept through the class.

 

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

 

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

 

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

 

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!"

 

The Teacher fainted.

 

 

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Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

 

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

 

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

 

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

 

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

 

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

 

 

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One day a lady from the church had come over and had given a gift for all the wonderful sermons that her husband has given.

 

Mrs. Johnson had said, "Thank you very much but what is it?"

 

The lady said, "It is a Damn ham."

 

Mrs. Johnson looked shocked and said, "Don't speak that way to me, don't you know that I am the preachers wife!"

 

The lady said, "Yes, yes I know, but that is the brand name of the ham!"

 

Mrs. Johnson said, "ooh I see well thank you" and the lady left.

 

Later that night when Mrs. Johnson was cooking dinner the preacher came into the kitchen and said, "Mmmm! That smells really good! What is it?"

 

Mrs. Johnson said," Well thats your dinner tonight, some Damn Ham"

 

The preacher was shocked and said, "Don't speak to me that way! Don't you know who I am?"

 

Mrs. Johnson said, "Yes, yes! I know who you are! It is just the brand name!"

 

The preacher said, "Oh! I see! Well it smells great!"

 

That night when dinner was ready she had set it out on the table. The corn, mashed potatoes, rolls, and ham!

 

When the family sat down they said their prayers and began to eat. The preacher said to his wife, "Could you please pass me some of that Damn ham?"

 

The wife said "sure".

 

Then little Johnny said, "Alright dad! While you're at it can you pass me the fucking mashed potatoes!"

Edited April 28, 2008 by LS1Inferno

[felcon edition banshee]

u just gotta love lol jonny