Noah's Ark

[jeepin247us]

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, and said, "Once again, the

earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me.

 

Build another Ark and save two of every living thing, along with a few

good humans."

 

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the

Ark before I will start the relentless rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

 

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard

-but no Ark.

 

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

 

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I now needed

a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need

for a sprinkler system.

 

"My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by

building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had

to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision" Then the

Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future

costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the

passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

 

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local

trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the

environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!

 

"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights

group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their

will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it

was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

 

"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted

an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

 

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights

Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building

crew.

 

"Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to

hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.

 

"And don't get me started about insurance.

 

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm

trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

 

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least ten years for me to

finish this Ark."

 

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow

stretched across the sky.

 

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, you're not going to

destroy the world?"

 

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

[Banshee~]

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

380283[/snapback]

[racer]

thats not so much funny as it is true and sad. fuckin burokrats. (sp? lol)

[jeepin247us]

word for word...exactly what I thought.

[banshee04le]

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

 

forgive me Lord, but it will take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."

 

Holy shit thats funny.

[bansheeryder_69]

Holy shit thats funny. 

380388[/snapback]

What he said

[bansheeryder_69]

Holy shit thats funny. 

380388[/snapback]

what he said

The bad thing is thats soooo true

[broke]

[bansheecaptain]

damn gov. nothing but bad.. funny joke