as you have already learned, prep, prep, prep. thats the first step. i wouldnt be super concerned with anything that doesnt come off with aircraft stripper. i used that stuff on cessna/bell aircraft, and thats the only time that its necessary to get it all off, because every ounce of paint counts for weight. other than that, if it doesnt really want to come off, even after roughing it up a bit, its stuck on there good enough as a good base for coating. 120, is a tad rough, unless you are getting ater some rust. if you have bare metal, you should have some metal prep/etch to get it bonded good (which may be included in some primers) and this brings us to the next step. primers. choic of primer needs to match not only the topcoat, but also the substrate, and the method. for instance, if you are going to just spray and spray, like with a completely bare frame, epoxy primer is an excellent choice for primer/seal coat. however, if you need a primer/filler (in other words, you are going to sand/feather, you need a filler/sandable type primer) also pay attention to the flash/topcoat time. some need it coated in color before or after a certain time frame and not in between (temperature/humidity specific) and some only have a certain period before it needs to be cured, prepped and resprayed if you miss that window. some products also get a bad name because nobody does the proper prep (certain rustoleum products, etc) but if done right, they can yield decent performance. also, you want to consider compatibility of the top, and under coatings. acrylic and lacquer enemels, etc. many will absoultely not adhere, or have a reaction when applied in an uncured state (either pre-cured, or recent treatment. this is probably one of the larger reasons why your primed pieces had a better effect. acetone, and grease remover are your friend. so is lacquer thinner, but that is not so great when you dont actually need it for things like cleaning your paint guns, etc. 220-400 are typically your prep grits, unless you need to do some heavy stuff, like cleaning rust pits out, or using body filler, but you shouldnt need that on a frame component. i dont know what your budget is like, but eurothane/epoxy coatings cna be the next best thing, or even surpass powder coat.