Hilarious Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilarious Posted December 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 The real story is, yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonbon Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 haha those are good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
91banshee Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 lol nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilarious Posted December 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 5 minute management course Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. - The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. " - After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" - Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaNsHeeJuNkEy Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 LOL that was funny. talk about getting taken advantage of. but more props for the neighbor for doing it, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
06BaNsHeE Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 lol i like the 1st nd last one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gipperz Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 Those were great, I love the dog food one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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