The best litle Johnny joke I've heard in a while

[madjimmax]

 

LITTLE JOHNNY

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said. 'Very good!' Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?' Again, no response except from Little Johnny, 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'. 'Excellent!', said the teacher continuing, 'let's try one a bit more difficult...' Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?' Once again, Johnny's was the only hand in the air and he said; 'John F. Kennedy, 1961'. The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Johnny isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.' She heard a loud whisper: 'F**k the Japs,' 'Who said that? I want to know right now!' she angrily demanded. Little Johnny put his hand up, 'General MacArthur, 1945.' At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.' The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right!!! Now who said that!?' Again, Little Johnny says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.' Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!' Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!' Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'You little sh!t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.' The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh sh!t, We're screwed!' Little Johnny said quietly, 'the American people, November 4, 2008.

[Dicklez]

Thats a good one!

[fastbanshee8]

Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."

 

The father thought some and said, "Okay, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm capitalism because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"

 

Little Johnny said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

 

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Johnny was woken up by his brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid.

 

Because he couldn't do anything else, he turned and went back to bed.

 

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."

 

"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

 

Little Johnny thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, while the government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of shit."