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madjimmax

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Posts posted by madjimmax

  1. Little Timmy's leter to santa

    in Humor

    Posted

    Timmy's letter to Santa

    Dear Santa,

    How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

    Merry Christmas,

    Timmy Jones
     

    * *
    Dear Timmy,

    Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried about all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

    Merry Christmas,

    Santa Claus

    * *
    Mr. Claus,

    Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract--set by you I might add--I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

    Respectfully,

    Tim Jones

    * *
    Mr. Jones,

    While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

    Very Truly Yours,

    S Claus

    * *
    Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat a** and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

    T-Bone

    * *
    Listen Pizza Face,

    Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh%t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

    S Clizzy

    * *
    Dear Santa,

    Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

    Timmy

    * *
    Timmy,

    That's what I thought, you little bastard.

    Santa

  3. 03 Banshee just fully rebuilt

    in For Sale - Complete Bikes

    Posted · Edited by madjimmax

    Well guys it's time to let her go. The reason I'm selling it is because I just dont ride it anymore and I can't stand to see it just sit around in my garage anymore. It's been a great shee and runs hard, I got a lot of time and cash in this thing and it does hurt a little bit. It only has about 10 hours on it since full rebuild over a year ago and this is why it's up for sale. I'm asking $4000 and everything is listed in my sig, I'll also let all my extra parts go with the sale as long as it goes for the asking price. No expense was spared in the building of this shee, here are some pics of the rebuild. If you need current pics or have any questions just give me a call @ 443-462-2233 and the name is Jim. I'm not wanting to part it out at this time but we'll see where it goes from here. It's located in Glen Burnie, Maryland and I will deliver to a reasonable distance, thanks for looking.

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    • Like 1

  13. Hot rods long rod 4mil crank, 06 mint cases and tranny

    in For Sale - Parts & Accessories

    Posted

    Alright fellows I have a few thing just sitting around that I dont need anymore

     

    Hot Rods long rod crank about 12 hrs on it $300 + shipping

    06 Mint set of cases no whacks $150 + shipping

    06 Mint tranny with forks $120 + shipping

    03 Complete frontend Arms with skid plates, spindles, hubs and rotors $125 + shipping

    Pay pal as a gift or add the fees my paypal addy is madjimmax@aol.com I will try and get pics up tonight if anyone is interested I can also email pics to ya. All parts are located in Glen Burnie, Maryland and are ready to be shipped, everything will be shipped usps priority mail

  14. Muzzleloader 8pt

    in Sports

    Posted

    that is a nice buck im betting about 170lbs? I have to wait 2 weeks fr our gun season to open than the 300 ultra mag is gunna do some hurting :headbang:

     

    Damn good guess 172lbs. Our gun season doesn't open until the sat. after Thanksgiving, We just had a 3 day early muzzleloader hunt for bucks or does and all of next week is doe only with the muzzleloader, so it looks like I'll have the bow in hand.

  21. The best litle Johnny joke I've heard in a while

    in Humor

    Posted

     

    LITTLE JOHNNY

    The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said. 'Very good!' Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?' Again, no response except from Little Johnny, 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'. 'Excellent!', said the teacher continuing, 'let's try one a bit more difficult...' Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?' Once again, Johnny's was the only hand in the air and he said; 'John F. Kennedy, 1961'. The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Johnny isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.' She heard a loud whisper: 'F**k the Japs,' 'Who said that? I want to know right now!' she angrily demanded. Little Johnny put his hand up, 'General MacArthur, 1945.' At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.' The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right!!! Now who said that!?' Again, Little Johnny says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.' Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!' Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!' Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'You little sh!t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.' The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh sh!t, We're screwed!' Little Johnny said quietly, 'the American people, November 4, 2008.

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