KaosBanshee44 Posted June 27, 2008 Report Posted June 27, 2008 Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf on Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, BOB! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and ask if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress ask Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine , Honey! A stripper then comes over to there table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.' Bob's funeral will be on Friday Quote
HammerShee99 Posted June 29, 2008 Report Posted June 29, 2008 bob is a player. Correction: Bob was a player. Quote
BansheeKid150 Posted July 1, 2008 Report Posted July 1, 2008 Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf on Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, BOB! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and ask if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress ask Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine , Honey! A stripper then comes over to there table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.' Bob's funeral will be on Friday Lol, hahaha that's funny. I feel sorry for Bob. Quote
bonbon Posted July 1, 2008 Report Posted July 1, 2008 Thats funny. Here's one thats just the opposite.... Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. He doesn't remember how he got home from the party. Fearful he made some horrible blunder he forces his eyes open and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. Next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing, all clean and pressed on a chair. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order and spotlessly clean. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian' He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son... what happened last night?' 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.' Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?' His son replies, 'Oh THAT.... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!' * Broken Coffee Table $239.99 * Hot Breakfast $4.20 * Two Aspirins $..38 * Saying the right thing, at the right time... PRICELESS! Quote
LS1Inferno Posted July 6, 2008 Report Posted July 6, 2008 IM MARRIED that is just dumb luck DAMN!!!!!!!!!! Quote
Wildcardracing Posted July 16, 2008 Report Posted July 16, 2008 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!' * Broken Coffee Table $239.99 * Hot Breakfast $4.20 * Two Aspirins $..38 * Saying the right thing, at the right time... PRICELESS! That's some funny shit!!! :yelrotflmao: Quote
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