Applied Murphology

[banshee04le]

LAWS OF MECHANICS AND MACHINERY

 

Lowery's Law:

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

 

Anthony's Law of Force:

Don't force it; get a bigger hammer

 

Horners Five-Thumb Postulate:

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

 

Law of Annoyance:

When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly

 

Anothony's Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

 

Sprinkles Law:

Things always fall at right angles.

 

Klipsteins Corollary:

The most delicate component will be the one to drop.

 

The Spare Parts Principle:

The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the part - and inversely with its importance to the completion of work underway.

 

Applied to Prototyping and Production:

1. Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty to assemble.

2. If a project requires 'n' components, there will be 'n-1' units in stock.

3. A fail safe circuit will destroy others.

4. A transisitor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

5. After the last of 16 screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

6. After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted.

 

Jenkinsons Law:

It won't work.

 

 

 

LAWS OF HEIRARCHY

 

The Peter Principle:

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

 

Corollaries:

1. In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.

 

2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incomptetence.

 

Peters Rule for Creative Incompetence:

Create the impression that you have already reached your level of incompetence.

 

Peters Placebo:

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

[Rustbag]

some of these are soooo true. lol

[liquedfire]

:yelrotflmao:

[Animalman294]

Ya, I think I deal with a few of those everytime I work on something................... :yelrotflmao:

[banshee04le]

hehe...For the benefit of those who have never heard of "Murphy's Law", which states that anything that can go wrong, WILL....these are spin-offs of more specific observation.

 

Here are a few more.

 

Osborn's Law:

Variables won't; constants aren't.

 

First Law of Revision:

In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way, so as to expedite subsequent revision.

 

Second Law of Revision:

The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.

 

Third Law of Revision:

If, when completion of a design is imminent, field dimensions are finally supplied as they actually are - instead of as they were meant to be - it is always simpler to start all over.

 

Law of the Lost Inch:

In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled correctly after 4:40 p.m. on Friday.

 

Corollaries:

1. Under the same conditions if any minor dimensions are given to sixteenths of an inch, they cannot be totalled at all.

2. The correct total will become self-evident at 9:01 a.m. on Monday.

 

Never argue with the fabricating plant about an error. The inspection prints are all checked off, even to the holes that aren't there.

 

Laws of Computer Programming:

1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

2. Any given program costs more and takes longer.

3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

4. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

5. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.

6. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

7. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

 

Snafu Equation:

Once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.