STLBILL Posted June 23, 2006 Report Posted June 23, 2006 A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart .... Nice children you've got there - are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!" So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex. " Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. (YEAH, RIGHT!) The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Jamaican replied,! "Just try dem on, Mon." Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes...something his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of he Jamaican's hips. The Jamaican then began screaming, "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!!!! Quote
Animalman294 Posted June 23, 2006 Report Posted June 23, 2006 Thats funny................... :yelrotflmao: Quote
pipebomb Posted June 24, 2006 Report Posted June 24, 2006 The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: There`s a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted. A few moments passed .. "An ambulance just drove by" A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson`s have company", he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike....." A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving" "Jason is on his skate board...." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!" Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!! Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?" "Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too." Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.